![]() What’s your plan for the 31st Night? mine is to check all bookmarks I added to my browser in 2022.May you give me another chance to do that in the next New Year! Sorry for all the annoying behavior I did throughout the year.“‘Out with the old, in with the new’ is a fitting expression for a holiday that is based on vomiting.” “May your dreams get fulfilled as well as your bills. So let’s just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that.” “Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. “This New Year’s I was going to make a resolution never to be late again, but I didn’t wake up until January 2.” “New Year’s resolution: to tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.” “It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.” “I’m still the same person I was last year-now I’m just hung over.” “Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.” Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” “New Year’s Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. “My New Year’s resolution list usually starts with the desire to lose between 10 and 3,000 pounds.” “May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.” This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.” “The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. “I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.” “You know how I always dread the whole year? Well, this time I’m only going to dread one day at a time.” “Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties.” “Every New Year’s I have the same question: ‘How did I get home?’” “I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.” “I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.” “Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?” “Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.” Let me know about your resolution, and I’ll try not to laugh as I did in the last year.” “The funniest part of a new year is making new resolutions. “New Year’s is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don’t want you reusing last year’s calendar.” “May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall.” “If you want an interesting party, combine cocktails and a fresh box of crayons for everyone.” The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning, and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.” “My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.” “Tonight’s December thirty-first, something is about to burst… Hark, it’s midnight, children dear. “Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve stuck with it ever since.” “Last year’s resolution was to lose 20 pounds by Christmas. “New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.” “Stir the eggnog, lift the toddy, Happy New Year everybody.” “My New Year’s resolution was to stop saying ‘You go, girl’ to myself.” “He who breaks a resolution is a weakling he who makes one is a fool.” “I would say ‘Happy New Year,’ but it’s not happy it’s exactly the same as last year except colder.” ![]() “Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” ![]() They are also great to share with your friends and write on cards for a fun twist. No matter how you feel about the new year, these funny new year quotes and wishes are sure to make you chuckle. 365 days come with a multitude of experiences, both pleasant and unpleasant.Īlthough we can't control what happens to us in life, we can strengthen ourselves with some tools. 80+ Funny New Year Quotes & Wishes for a Fun 2023Ģ022 was different for all of us.
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